People

I realized, last night, when trying to figure out when people were gonna come with me to the taste of Edmonton and to Klondike days, that what I really lack is group mentality.

I was playing neopets and I mean, I like it, but it’s all rather so so. The same kinda feeling I used to get when playing WOW. Neopets wasn’t even that great back in the day when there were people to play with, mainly because it doesn’t have any real kind of communication system.

I looked at my life and realized that ever fiber of it is practically created to be interwoven with the people around me. I need a group, a pack, a pard, and I am never going to have one…

People have children to leave their mark on this world because most of them believe they lack anything better to make a difference. Plus, kids are more or less easy.
What am I going to leave?

… Gods, and you know... I don’t even want to be leader… I just want something... Somewhere I belong. And I know all of us search for that, but if all of us are searching for that, why aren’t we all finding it! I mean, I realized it when I was talking to Alex and he accused me of not doing anything with him. I realized I don’t do anything with anyone. There is nothing that connects me to all of my friends, just little things to each of them. This makes it so I can’t do something with all of them. And they have their own friends… and everything gets thinner and thinner.

You know, for once, I’m not worried about the money. I’m not worried about the job. None of that means anything if I don’t have people waiting for me on the other side of all this crap.
It’s all I have ever wanted… but once again, it depends on the one thing I have no control over.
People.